I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
