Define "chronic" masturbator.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
