I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
