There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
