If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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