you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
