Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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