so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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