fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
