Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
