They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
