Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
