I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
