how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
