why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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