you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
