lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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