I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
