It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
