we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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