dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Randomize
