so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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