if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this beer tastes like vomit already
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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