is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
