He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
