When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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