I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
