I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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