The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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