Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
