I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
