Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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