i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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