i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
