I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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