I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You're earring is so big in my mouth
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
