so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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