u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
