dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
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