I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
