Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
