how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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