A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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