So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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