Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
