Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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