Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
