i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
