it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
