he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
