OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Randomize
