dude i'm inner monologue high
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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