in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My vagina is officially offended.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
